The Sonic Crew Plays Quelf
by ckaira77
Summary: What happens when Sonic, Shadow, Amy, Tails, and Knuckles get together to play a game that requires them to do ridiculous things? Read this and you'll know. The possibilities range from male hedgehogs acting like girls to ducks.


The Sonic Crew Plays QUELF!

"Hey Sonic, are you a true man?" asked Amy. She was holding something behind her back. It gave Sonic great curiosity.

"Of course, I am! What are you hiding behind your back?!" asked Sonic standing up from the floor. He was playing Sonic Adventure 2 on his GameCube.

"Well, you Sonic, have been selected to participate in a game that will prove if you are a true man or not! If you don't agree, you are a sissy!" Amy told him with a smirk on her face.

"I'm no sissy! What is this game that I am being dared to play?" asked Sonic slowly. He thought Amy was going to explode with laughter. She couldn't stop giggling!

"Quelf!" she replied.

"Quelf?" asked Sonic.

"Quelf."

Sonic stared at her in disbelief. What in the world was Quelf? He was going to regret it he was sure, but he said he would play. He was not a sissy.

The next day, Amy arranged for it to be at her house. She advised that he wore a T-shirt just in case. Sonic didn't know why, but he made sure to put on a light blue T-shirt. He began to make his way over to her house. She welcomed him into the house when he arrived. He was led into the living room that was well lit and very clean. Three others were already there. Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow. Sonic knew this was going to be good if she could bring together Shadow and Knuckles.

"Is everybody here?" asked Amy.

"Amy, you are the only one who could ever pull this off," said Tails.

"Indeed. Time to start the game!" said Amy setting up the board. Everyone was rather surprised to see what the board looked like. It looked like a little kids game.

"I don't think I need to be here anymore," Shadow said standing up about to leave. Amy stood in front of him.

"You ARE staying Shadow. If you don't, the force field will stop you. I put it up when Sonic came. You can't leave until you play," Amy said. This made Shadow sit back down.

"You will swear an oath to obey the card you draw no matter what! Swear the oath right now!" commanded Amy.

"We swear to obey the card no matter what happens. Okay?" the four of them replied. Amy put the pieces on the board once they had said the words.

Amy: purple, Sonic: blue, Tails: yellow, Knuckles: red, and Shadow: black. They each rolled the die and the turn order was: Sonic, Tails, Amy, Shadow, and last Knuckles. Sonic was first.

Sonic rolled the die and got a three. He moved the piece to a blue space. He picked up a blue card. It said 'ROOLZ' on the front of it. Amy got out the instructions.

"When a 'ROOLZ' card is drawn, the effect of the card lasts until you draw another rule card. Roolz cards are "rules" that you must follow as long as the card is in play. There are three types of rule cards. Sonic which one did you get?" asked Amy. Sonic glanced at his card.

"Talking rule."

"Okay, those only affect the player who drew it. You can only have one talking rule card at a time. Put the card in front of you. Get caught not obeying the card, and you'll pay the penalty, but you must also keep the card in play," Amy replied.

Sonic read the card. He got an odd expression on his face. He then handed the card to Tails to read. Tails nearly burst out laughing.

"Sonic has to yell at all the game pieces like a drill sergeant during the movement of any piece! I'm going to love this!" exclaimed Tails. Everyone burst out in laughter. Even Shadow.

"Tails, it's your turn!" Amy said.

Tails rolled the dice. He rolled a two. Sonic readied his voice.

"Alright, go go go GO! Is that all you got?! Drop and give me twenty!" Sonic yelled as Tails moved his piece. Everyone burst out laughing again. Sonic blushed.

Tails landed on a green space. Amy got the instructions as Tails grabbed the card. He didn't dare yet look at it.

"You drew a QUIZZLE card. A trivia category with questions ranging from obvious to impossible. The opponent to your right reads the question to you and you answer Tails. Get it wrong, pay the penalty," Amy explained.

Tails handed the card to Sonic. He nodded as he read the card to himself.

"Which two of the following are NOT songs by The Beach Boys?

"Last Summer"

"Surf's up"

I Get Around"

"Surfin' Safari"

"Sand in my Crack"

Tails thought for a moment. He had heard a few songs by Beach Boys. He had heard Surf's Up and Surfin' Safari, but he didn't know what the answer was. He would have to guess.

"Sand in my Crack and Last Summer?" asked Tails. He grinned gleefully when Sonic nodded.

"Extra Credit! Sing the opening line to Surfin' Safari!" Sonic said.

"I can't do that! I don't remember!" cried Tails.

"It's okay. You can still stay where you are," Amy replied. Tails sighed with relief.

It was now Amy's turn. She rolled the dice and got a one. Sonic yelled at the piece with all his might as she landed on a purple space. She read the instructions.

"SHOWBIZ cards have the spotlight on you. Just do what the card says," Amy said.

She grabbed a purple card and facepalmed herself.

"What'd you get?" asked Knuckles.

"Classified card. Can't say. Must obey, however," Amy said as she stood up and took a few steps to the side. She ran and spiked an invisible ball and began to celebrate something. She was going crazy. About ten seconds later, she stopped and sat back down. Sonic read it and giggled. He put it back.

"She had to pretend that she scored the winning touchdown and was partying her little booty off!" Sonic said. Everyone giggled. It was now Shadow's turn.

Shadow rolled the die. He rolled a five. Sonic yelled at the piece again like a drill sergeant. He landed on a red space. He looked to Amy for instructions.

"SCATTERBRAINZ cards where you choose one of the topics on the card. Each player must give a valid answer, starting with you and going to the left around the board until you run out of time (10 seconds), can't think of a valid answer, or give an answer that's already been said," said Amy. Shadow nodded.

"Okay, I choose… common excuses given for not turning in your homework on time. I lost it," Shadow said.

"My dog ate it," Knuckles said.

"I didn't have time," said Sonic.

"I overslept."

"Forgot."

"I was out of the house all day and couldn't get to it."

"Uh… I can't think of any… At least, I can't pay the penalty. I'm still at the beginning. My turn now right?" asked Knuckles. Everyone nodded.

Knuckles rolled the die and got a two. Shadow drew the card and read the question. Sonic was getting exhausted from the yelling whenever someone moved.

"Which two of the following are actual animal hybrids? Zedonk, Alligurtle, Girantelope, or Liger?" asked Shadow.

"Liger and… Zedonk?" asked Knuckles. Shadow nodded. Knuckles grinned happily.

Sonic rolled and got a six. He yelled at himself all along the way. He landed on a yellow space. Amy said that he should just do what the card said. Sonic nodded. He picked up a card.

"You are the hedgehog boomerang. You must walk at least 50 feet from the game board and then come back. You must repeatedly make a "waa - waa" airy sound as you walk. If a player asks you to do this again, you must do it. No player can ask you twice… Wait, was I supposed to read this? Oh darn it…," Sonic said. Sonic stood up.

Everyone giggled.

Sonic walked away making the noise as he walked. Everyone laughed. He returned and sat down. Shadow smirked.

"Hey, Faker… Can you do it again?" asked Shadow.

"UGH!" exclaimed Sonic standing back up.

"Waa, waa, waa, waa, waa, waa, waa…," Sonic said as he walked.

"I'll have mercy on him," said Tails.

"Yeah. Me and Knuckles too," said Amy.

Sonic returned and sat down. He glared at the board and thought 'Why me?' It was now Tails' turn. Tails rolled a four. Sonic screamed at the piece. At least, he wasn't faking. He was already mad, so it wasn't difficult.

"Hand me that Showbiz card please!" Tails said to Amy. She nodded and gave it to him. He read it and giggled. He stood up in front of the board. He began to make rap music with just his mouth. He began dancing a hip-hop sort of thing. Nobody needed to read the card to know what he was doing. They all giggled at the sight. Tails stopped after a little while.

It was now Amy's turn. She rolled a six. Her piece hopped over to the space. Sonic didn't do the voice. Everyone looked at him.

"I guess I forgot…," Sonic said sheepishly. He moved his piece back a space. His piece was now next to Amy's on the board.

Amy drew a blue card. She read it out loud.

"Talking rule. Before saying anything longer than a three-word phrase, you must ask for permission from your foot to speak. Then, say in a high squeaky voice, "Permission granted." Amy's face turned white as she thought about it. She sat in silence and squinted at the board.

It was then Shadow's turn. He rolled a five. Sonic yelled at the piece with all his might. He landed on another red space. He drew a scatterbrainz card. He chose for the topic to be body parts that you would not want to lose in an unfortunate hunting accident.

"I wouldn't want to lose my arms."

"Nose."

"LEGS!" Sonic yelled.

"My tails."

Amy pointed to her mouth with annoyance.

"Eyes."

"Head."

"Ears."

"Uh… I don't know…," said Tails. He wasn't sure of anything else. He moved his piece back three spaces. Sonic yelled at it all the way.

Knuckles rolled the die. He got a six. Sonic was getting a hoarse voice but continued to yell. He landed next to Sonic and Amy. He drew a blue card and read it.

"Global rule. Affects all players. All answers to scatterbrainz questions must be in question form?" asked Knuckles as he read it. He handed the card to Amy. She sighed.

"Permission to speak?"

"Permission granted," Amy muttered in a high voice. This made everyone giggle.

"Yes. That means that we are going to have to play it like we were playing jeopardy only answering the question with a question rather than giving the question to go with the answer. Understood?" she asked everyone. They all nodded.

It was Sonic's turn and he rolled a two. He landed next to Shadow on a red space.

"Let's go you slowpoke pawn! GO GO GO GO! Is that really it!? Man, you are one pathetic gaming piece!" Sonic yelled.

Sonic picked up a red card. He chose the topic for things you deflate.

"Maybe a useless car tire?" asked Sonic.

"A balloon with a hole in it?" asked Tails.

"...I've got nothing," Amy said. She moved back two spaces.

It was Tails' turn. He rolled and got a four. He landed on a green space. He gave Sonic a quizzle card. Sonic read it over. He winced when he saw the penalty.

"Okay Tails, name five things that start with Q."

"Qualitative, Quantitative, Questionable, Quick, and Queen," said Tails. Sonic nodded. He showed Tails the card. If he failed and didn't say queen, the penalty would have been doubled. Tails was rather fascinated by the odds.

It was then Amy's turn. She rolled a four. Sonic almost couldn't take all the yelling.

"Run run run… Don't stop… You're almost there… Blah, blah, blah, blah, etc…," Sonic said without enthusiasm.

Amy gave the green card to Tails.

"What is a "capon"?

Blind pigeon

A castrated rooster

A diseased asp

A malnourished monkey

A buck-toothed pig

"A castrated rooster! I learned that from taking a few classes for being a vet. What's the extra credit?" asked Amy.

"You didn't ask for permission from your foot! Go back!" Shadow pointed out. Amy groaned and went back a space.

"What tastes good with capers?" asked Tails.

"Permission to speak."

"Permission granted."

"Caper plants taste good with fish. Look it up. I'm right. Cooking classes did pay off!" Amy exclaimed. Amy moved forward again. Tails nodded.

Shadow rolled the die again. He rolled a six. He landed on a purple. Sonic enthusiastically yelled at the piece. Shadow grabbed a purple card. He read it and his face turned red. He handed the card over to Tails. Tails burst out laughing at the card. He read the special rule at the bottom.

"If you are the second one to read this card, move forward three spaces! Yay!" said Tails. He moved forward with Sonic yelling over Shadow's mixed up thoughts. He stood up reluctantly.

"This just in, my mother has accidentally dropped her underwear in the dryer. To our surprise, the underwear caught fire! AAHHHH! Unfortunately, my mother didn't use a fire extinguisher to put out the fire. She used dangerous explosive chemicals. Let's hope that she's okay. Wait… This just in, my mother is in the hospital!" said Shadow without once laughing. However, his face was a bright pink.

Everyone giggled. They didn't even know that Shadow had a mother! Shadow sat back down.

It was then Knuckles' turn. He rolled a two. He landed on a red square. Sonic was yelling again at the pieces. Everyone was kind of growing board. Knuckles decided to move forward one to a purple space. He picked up the card, read it over, and got into a kneeling position. He held up the card.

"My dear, I've loved you since I first met you. I don't care if everyone is watching, but my feelings for you are true. Will you marry me purple gaming card?" asked Knuckles. He made it look like it had nodded. Everyone cracked up.

"Okay. Sonic, it's your turn again!" Knuckles chirped.

Sonic rolled a three and landed on a blue space after yelling at the piece. He picked up a blue card. IT WAS A TALKING CARD! SONIC COULD FINALLY GET RID OF HIS DRILL SERGEANT CARD! Sonic was so happy!

"Each time someone draws a card, I have to quack like a duck… I'm not sure if this is much better… At least, it's more interesting… Tails, your turn…," Sonic said putting his card back.

Tails rolled the dice. He rolled a four. He landed on a yellow space. Tails drew a card.

"QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK QUACK! QUAAAAAAAACK!" Sonic quacked while flapping his wings. Shadow grinned and Knuckles began to mock poor Sonic. Amy and Tails only laughed after Amy asked for permission to from her foot.

"Hm…," Tails said as he read the card to himself. He stood up from the table.

"Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom," Tails said. He walked off.

"Okay? What an odd time to go to the bathroom. Do you think-? Nah. The card wouldn't say that!" Sonic said.

"Who knows. A card once told me to be a reporter and do a report on my mother's underwear that caught on fire in a dryer," Shadow replied.

"For crying out loud! Amy has to ask for permission from her foot to talk!" Knuckles said.

The four of them waited. Waited. Waited. Tails never came back. Sonic was the first to get impatient.

"I'm going to get him!" Sonic exclaimed. It had been ten minutes…

"Tails!" yelled Sonic banging on the bathroom door. Tails opened it. He gave Sonic the card.

"Oh… You had to stay in here until someone came! How bored did you get?" asked Sonic.

"Really bored. I thought nobody was going to come for a moment there! Well, Amy's turn. By the way, you move forward one space," Tails said. Sonic smiled happily.

The two of them returned and Sonic went forward. Amy rolled as they did. Sonic quacked when Amy picked up a blue card due to her landing on a blue space. She got another talking card! She read it.

"Talking card. Each time someone has to move backward, I must say,"Serves you right Captain Poopy Pants!" Amy said. Everyone grinned.

It was Shadow's turn. He rolled a two. He was now next to Amy on the blue space. He drew a card.

"QUACK QUACK!" Sonic quacked.

Shadow was once again not very pleased with his card.

"Act like someone of the opposite gender…," he read. Now everyone was laughing harder than they thought they ever could.

"Ugh…," Shadow readied his voice and figured out who he was going to impersonate. He smirked at Sonic.

"Oh man… I'm going to hate this…," Sonic said.

"Sonic! I thought that you promised to take me to the mall yesterday! You didn't keep your promise! You're coming with me right now!" shouted Shadow sounding _exactly_ like Amy somehow! He grabbed Sonic's arm.

"No Amy- I mean- Shadow! I don't want to! The people will laugh at me!" Sonic whimpered.

"Well, too bad! I'm out of lipstick! Besides, I thought that you liked me! I feel so hurt! WAAAAHHHH!" he cried just like Amy would.

"Cool it! FINE! I'll take you to the mall!" Sonic replied with a sigh. Shadow stopped.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I knew that you liked me! Let's go!" Shadow said hugging Sonic.

"This is REALLY weird… Shadow, we can leave for the mall after the game! I've got to stay here. You know, so I can quack when Knuckles picks up his card!" Sonic said prying Shadow off of him.

"Oh, all right… Although, that'll cost you a new purse!" Shadow snapped.

Everyone was laughing except for Amy. She couldn't believe that Shadow was actually impersonating her! Why not Rouge? Maybe Maria? On second thought, maybe not… Cream? Cosmo? Amy shook her head. The two hedgehogs sat back down.

Knuckles rolled the die. He got a five. He landed on purple. Knuckles drew a purple card. Sonic quacked. He grinned and stood up.

 _Take me out to the ballgame!_

 _Take me out with the crowd!_

 _Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack!_

 _I don't care if I ever get back!_

 _And we'll root,_

 _ROOT ROOT!_

 _For the home team!_

 _If they don't win it's a shame! For it's one,_

 _two,_

 _three strikes._

 _You're out! At the old ball game!_

 _Take me out to the ballgame!_

 _Take me out with the crowd!_

 _We'll have us some bratwurst and nachos!_

 _We don't care if we pay through the nose!_

 _And we'll root,_

 _ROOT ROOT!_

 _For the home team._

 _We're just glad they're still here!_

 _For they might_

 _just_

 _move out of town later on this year!_

Knuckles sang with all his might. Everyone applauded him. He stayed where he was. Knuckles sat back down.

It was then Sonic's turn. Sonic rolled a six. He made it to the end of the board! Only one card win away from winning the entire game. A scatterbrainz question he would have to answer. He quacked and drew a card. Amy told him that he would have to give two answers. Sonic picked the topic. Holiday songs. The special rule was that everyone had to sing a line from it. Sonic started.

 _We wish you a merry Christmas!_

 _We wish you a merry Christmas!_

 _We wish you a merry Christmas!_

 _And a happy New Year!_

 _Jingle bell,_

 _jingle bell,_

 _jingle bell rock._

 _Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time!_

Tails: _Deck the halls with boughs of holly!_

 _falalalala_

 _lalalala!_

Amy: _You know Dasher,_

 _and Dancer,_

 _and Prancer,_

 _and Vixen,_

 _Comet,_

 _and Cupid,_

 _and Donner,_

 _and Blitzen._

 _But do you recall_

 _the most famous reindeer of all?_

Shadow: _Have a holly jolly Christmas,_

 _it's the best time of the year._

 _I don't know if there'll be snow,_

 _but have a cup of cheer._

Knuckles: _Dashing through the snow,_

 _in a one horse open sleigh._

 _Over the fields we go._

 _Laughing all the way!_

Sonic: _Frosty the snowman!_

 _Was a jolly happy soul._

 _With a corncob pipe,_

 _and a button nose,_

 _and two eyes made out of coal._

 _Oh, the weather outside is frightful,_

 _but the fire is so delightful._

 _And since we've no place to go,_

 _let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!_

Tails: _Oh Christmas tree,_

 _Oh, Christmas tree,_

 _how lovely are thy branches…_

Amy: _I don't want a lot for Christmas._

 _There is just one thing I need._

 _I don't care about the presents._

 _Underneath the Christmas tree._

Shadow: _Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,_

 _Jack Frost nipping at your nose,_

 _Yuletide carols sung by a choir,_

 _and folks dressed like Eskimos._

Knuckles: _Over the river and through the woods_

 _to grandmother's house we go._

 _The horse knows the way_

 _to carry the sleigh-_

"Is that even a Christmas song?" asked Amy.

"Yeah. It is," Tails replied.

Sonic: _I saw three ships come sailing in_

 _on Christmas day!_

 _on Christmas day!_

 _I saw three ships come sailing in_

 _on Christmas day in the morning!_

 _Joy to the world!_

 _The Lord is come!_

 _Let Earth receive her king!_

Tails: _Silent night._

 _Holy night._

 _All is calm,_

 _all is bright._

"Uh… I can't think of one. Sonic, I think you won. I think we can all go home now. Hang on, I need to tell myself something for losing. Serves you right Captain Poopy Pants!" Amy yelled pointing at herself. Everyone other than Shadow giggled.

"Can I do one more card? Make it the wackiest you can find!" Tails dared. Amy handed him a card. Tails stood up with the yellow card. He put his hands around his mouth.

"AAAAAATTTTTTEEEEENNNNNNNTTTTIIIOOOON PPPEEEEOOOOPLEEE! YYYYOOOUUUR AAAATTEEEENTIOOOON PLEEEEEEASE! IIIIIII AAAAAAM SLEEEEEEEPWAAAAALKIIIING AAAND IIIII WOOOON'T STOOOOOP UUUUNTIIIIL IIIIIII FIIIIND MYYYYYYYY SWIIIIIMMMIIIING GOOOOOGGLESSSSS! HHHHEEEEEY YYYYOOOOU! IIIII SMEEEEEELLL PAAAARTRRRIIIIDGE! FLEEEEE AAALIIEEEN KEEEEEEEPEEERRR OOOFF LLUUUUMMPYYYY DEEEELIIIIGHT! TTTHHHEEEEEE WIIINNTEER IIIIS MMIIIINNNEEE!" Tails yelled at the top of his lungs without laughing in slow motion. Nobody got a word he said.

"What did you say Tails?" asked Sonic.

"Attention people! Your attention, please! I am sleepwalking and I won't stop until I find my swimming goggles! Hey you, I smell partridge! Flee alien keeper of lumpy delight! The winter is mine!" Tails replied.

"Oh! That makes much more sense! More or less…," Sonic replied.

"Can we go now?" asked Shadow.

"Sure," Amy replied. She watched Knuckles and Shadow leave. Tails and Sonic stayed.

"I challenge you to a game of Quelf at 3:15 pm tomorrow. Here?" asked Sonic.

"Sure!" Amy replied.

"I'll be there too. See you then!" Tails said as he and Sonic walked out the door.

That is what happens when most of the Sonic crew gets together to play Quelf. Hope you enjoyed! ZairaDrayan doesn't own Sonic! Hope yo read more of my stories!


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